


Wrong mail...

by allthingspieandhockey (SunMonTue)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Minor Larissa "Lardo" Duan/Shitty Knight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:00:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24420040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunMonTue/pseuds/allthingspieandhockey
Summary: This is just two short meet-cutes in which Bitty and Jack meet due to mail accidentally being mis-directed in various ways... Short sweet and pretty fluffy with ZERO angst.
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Comments: 5
Kudos: 111





	Wrong mail...

**Author's Note:**

> Posted to my tumblr back in 2016 I thought I better try and get everything on AO3.

**Bitty gets Jack’s mail**

Bitty clears the mail out from the little mail slot in his apartment building every afternoon when he returns from work. There are four of them living in the three-bedroom apartment, just to afford the rent, but they get on so well. Chris and Caitlyn share the largest room, Lardo has the one with the most natural light which had conveniently left the one closest to the kitchen for Bitty. They’d found each other through Craig’s List, which Bitty had been uncertain about, but is now a firm believer of bringing great people into his life about three months ago. 

Today when he clears the mail and there is an unusual amount. They don’t get very much usually, most of their bills are online, but this is about ten letters. He flicks through them on his way to the lift, looks up briefly as someone brushes past him, gives them a bright smile before looking back at the name:

_J Zimmermann_

Well, unless one of his roommates has had a name-change he knows it’s not for them. Their apartment number is 417, and he wonders if maybe it’s for 411. He’ll try them a bit later. The name Zimmermann rings a bell, and he’s usually good with names, but he’s fairly certain the person in 411 isn’t Zimmermann. But maybe they’ve moved.

He has an afternoon nap, his 4am starts in the bakery necessitating it if he wants to be at all social in the evening with his roommates or friends. Lardo gets home first, her job at the local museum just a walk away. When Bitty shows her the mail she agrees, the name definitely sounds familiar, but neither of them can place it. When he voices his idea of going and trying 411 Lardo insists on going with him, asserting that they never know what kind of weirdos might live in their apartment building.

411 is a little weird. He answers the door in boxers, long hair tied back into a sloppy bun and stares at them both intently and he’s glad that his open-mouth expression is mirrored on Lardo’s. 

“Can I help you?”

“Mr Zimmermann?”

“What?”

“Are you Mr. Zimmermann?”

The other man’s eyes narrow and Bitty tries to look as nonthreatening as possible. Lardo on the other hand has taken a defensive stance and looks ready to kick the other man in the balls.

“Why are you looking for him?”

“Oh, so he does live here? It’s just, we got his mail…”

“Stealing mail is -”

“I didn’t steal it! It’s addressed to our apartment!”

“Oh. Well, he doesn’t live here either. Are you just trying every apartment?”

Bitty explains that _no_ , he’s not trying every apartment, but had thought 417 and 411 might get mixed up on a form. The other man seems almost impressed, before suggesting that it could be 714, or 711, or 717 because some people write or read their numbers differently. Bitty sighs, because he really hadn’t planned on a building-wide man-hunt.

“Also, I might not be right, but this J Zimmermann is probably Jack Zimmermann.” Bitty and Lardo look at each other with realization dawning on them. “You know, the hockey player? I am, _alas_ , but a mere mortal. Shitty Knight.”

Bitty’s not sure if that’s a name or job description, but it does explain why the name is familiar and he’s a little flustered that he might have Jack Zimmermann’s mail. At least he knows who he might be looking for now. Lardo ends up inviting Shitty to their apartment for drinks and Bitty drags her away, muttering under his breath about how she was warning him about the weird ones, and they aren’t meant to be inviting them _home_. 

They don’t need to try 414, because Bitty knows the grandmother that lives there, has even baked with her a few times. Unless, as Lardo points out as they ride the lift up to the 7th floor, she’s hiding the fact that Jack Zimmermann is her grandson. Bitty says they’ll ask her if they have no luck with the three apartments. He knows it’s a long shot, that the numbers could be completely wrong, but the range of letters look like it’s consistently wrong for several places.

There is no answer at 711, and Lardo makes a comment about how 711 should always be open, and Bitty laughs nervously. At 714 there is a muffled voice calling out and then… yeah. That’s definitely Jack Zimmermann.

Somewhere in the recesses of Bitty’s mind a version of himself has thrown the mail at his face and made a run for it. Then moved out of the apartment building and gone into hiding completely mortified. However he’s going to try and act like a mature adult. He manages it regularly.

“Hi, sorry to bother you, but we seem to have gotten all your mail.”

Bitty holds it out nervously, like an offering of some sort and Jack Zimmermann takes it from him.

“Um, thanks. I better change it. Um. The address I mean.”

“Well, I’ll just pop any future mail straight into your mailbox, if we get any that is. I’m Eric Bittle, and this is Larissa Duan, and we live in 417. Obviously.”

Jack just looks at them and _now_ Bitty decides is an acceptable time to flee. Lardo is laughing and waving and Jack is watching them from his apartment as he stands there waiting for the lift. Screw it; he’s taking the stairs.

The next afternoon when he checks the mail there’s an envelope with his and Lardo’s name on it, and inside four tickets to the next Falconers home game and a small hand-written thank you note. Bitty wavers, because that’s really too much. He sorts the mail and moves to put Jack’s into the right slot and then jumps when someone coughs behind him.

“I can, um, just take it?”

“Oh! Jack! Of course. Sorry. And thank you, for the tickets. I love hockey.”

Jack looks pleased, or at least seems to smile slightly and Bitty is glad he didn’t insist Jack take them back. It starts a slow budding friendship, and Bitty learns that Shitty Knight (his name, not his occupation) is actually a friend of Jack’s and knew his apartment number all along. Jack eventually asks Bitty on a date, and Bitty is surprised but delighted. 

Bitty never finds out how or why they ended up with Jack’s mail and Jack is wondering whether he should ever confess that he signed up to some mail order things with the wrong apartment deliberately because he saw a cute blonde man entering it one day when he was visiting Shitty. (Shitty put it all together when Bitty and Lardo knocked on his door the first time).

**AND IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE… (100% unrelated to the previous story)**

**Jack gets Bitty’s mail**

It’s stuck between a couple of other letters, just one envelope, but upon inspection Jack can feel the hard plastic card inside. He lets out a sigh, because he really didn’t want to deal with this right now, but this person is probably waiting for this. May even urgently need it.

Fortunately it’s just the apartment next door, and he supposes the mail person just missed it in sorting, or… he has no idea what kind of mistakes could result in him getting someone else’s mail, but it’s easy enough to remedy. At least this has the person’s address on it. _E Bittle_.

He knocks on the door. He car hear the music blaring inside, recognizes it as something popular enough to also be played on the radio and at games. There’s no answer and he suspects the music is too loud. He knocks again, louder this time and increasingly grateful for the soundproof walls between apartments.

When there is still no answer he just contemplates shoving it under the door, but then there is a lull in the music and he knocks loudly again, and fortunately he hears the music shut off and then the door is opening and…

He is _not_ prepared.

A gorgeous man, wearing what can only be described as tiny red booty shorts, is standing there, red-faced, spots of white powder on his face, a loose tank with a unicorn on it, and Jack thinks it might be farting a rainbow but he’s really not sure…

"Um…”

“Oh my gosh! Was the music too loud? I am so sorry! I’ll turn it down, I was just having a celebratory dance and bake-off. So sorry!”

“Um, it wasn’t the music,” Jack starts, because it hadn’t been bothering him.

The other man seems to notice he’s holding mail and Jack shoves the entire pile toward him, before realizing that he should have kept his own mail. Fortunately the other man seems kind, flicks a quick look to Jack before going through the letters and letting out a pleased sound when he finds the one meant for him. So his name is _Bittle_.

“Thank you Mr Zimmermann, very kind of you to bring this across.”

“You know my name?”

“It’s on your letters.”

“Oh, right.”

Jack stammers out an awkward nice-to-meet-you and retreats to his apartment. An hour later Bittle knocks on his door bearing pie, insists Jack accept it as thanks for bringing him his mail. He also introduces himself properly. _Eric_. 

Jack smiles.


End file.
